Rampant Speculation In The Underground •• As National Enquirer Tabloid Reported In Cover Story Last Night •• Acclaimed NON Drinker USA President GWBush •• Is Hitting The Bottle Again

Sez •• Laura Caught Him Knocking Back Whiskey • And Scolded Him • Is Acting As Booze Guard

Enquirer Sez •• He Has Been Sneaking Drinks For Weeks

•• Utter Tabloid Nonsense ??

•• A Hypnosis Story Planted By Karl Rove • To Create Sympathy • As Bush Poll Numbers Scrape Bottom ??

•• A Disgruntled Veep Cheney • Gave The OK To Tell It ??

•• Was His Glass At The Recent G8 Summit • Really Full Of Beer?

•• Did Mainline Repub Conservatives • Freaked About His Spending Money Like A Drunken Sailor • Plant Or Reveal The Story ??

•• Explanation For Famous "Choked On A Pretzel Rug Burns" Story ??

•• Are USA Demo Party Leaders • Making An Attempt To Kick Him While He Is Down ??

•• Why He Couldn't Button His Own Shirt Correctly • For Kritical Katrina Speech ??

•• Reason For • His Frequent Tumbles OFF His Bike ??

•• Was He Seen Drinking Near Beer • At Secret White House Press Corp Party • At The Texas Stage Called A Ranch ??

•• Explains Why He Always Seems To Be AWOL • Or Running When There Is BIG Trouble ??

•• Explanation For His STRANGE Performances • During Several Presidential Debates ??

•• Why He Is The Most "Vacationed" USA President In Modern History ??

•• Rumors True That He Has Violent Mood Swings • Tantrums • Abusive Behavior Toward Staff ??

•• Big Trouble Ahead • As He Combines Booze • With Prescribed Anti Depressants ??

•• A Sign That The Profit Puffing Media's "Hands Off" Policy JUST Changed ??

6:28:22 AM